good hygiene

George is an elderly man who although he can walk it can sometimes prove to be a bit of an effort.

I walked in to find him sitting at the dining table eating his lunch and as I went to give him his tablets, I noticed he had sterile gloves on his  hands






'Why are you wearing those gloves?' I enquired

'Well nobody gave me any gloves when I had my catheter fitted, so I bought my own for when I empty the urine from the bag down the toilet.'

I cringed slightly as I asked why he was eating his lunch with them on?'

'Well I forgot to put them on before I emptied my catheter bag and when I sat down to eat I realised I had not washed my hands afterwards; As the gloves were on the table, I put them on on to save me having to get up again.'

Of course silly me. Quite logical really

The marriage proposal

I overheard a conversation between two female carers today that made me smile,

'I have had to pull out of one of my calls this week because one of my gentlemen asked me to marry him,'

'Oh my God! What did you say?'

'Well I laughed because I thought he was joking, and then he got really upset.so I explained that I already had a boyfriend so I could not except.'

giggles

'It's not funny  I felt really sorry for the guy'

'Sorry, I was just thinking you get proposed to and the nearest thing I get to a compliment is an old boy telling me that I shouldn't wear this blouse because it makes me look fat.'

'Oh Dear! What did you say?'

'Well I am normally quite calm but as he is always so rude and it was the wrong time of the month to tell a lady she was fat, I politely pointed out that a man with no teeth in his mouth isn't exactly an oil painting himself'

golf highlights

Whilst discussing the football on the telly with one of my ladies today, we moved on to sport in general.  I mentioned that the British Open golf was starting this week and that I had recorded the Scottish Open Golf highlights to watch tonight.



'Oh I think watched that last night,' she said 'Was that the one which Michelson won?'

'I don't know I haven't watched it yet'

'Oops sorry,' she said with a smile ' Still it was very exciting, it went to a play off '


That was my evening's entertainment scuppered then

the love triangle

There maybe romance blossoming at one of the care homes. The trouble is that we have a love triangle developing......

Or maybe not......

Pat was sitting in the garden talking to me, when a lady who I had never met before came over and whispered to Pat that she should keep her hands off of her Jack.
Now Jack is a quiet, amiable, unassuming sort of chap, who you will often find in the communal garden chatting to Pat . There is nothing in it, they just enjoy each other's company; Nothing more, nothing less.


So back to the story;

'Keep your hands off of my Jack, I was here first' admonishes the mystery lady.
What! says Pat. 'I don't want him. What do I want with a man in my life at my age? Nothing but trouble I've had enough of that malarkey. You can bloody well have him!

Good for her you might say, but did she really have to say all that when Jack was standing sheepishly next to her.

hot legs

Before I begin this blog I must point out that I do not consider myself to be a sex symbol of any sort.

As the long awaited Summer has finally arrived, I have been wearing tailored shorts to do my rounds. Whilst talking to other carers, I have discovered that my legs are quite the topic of conversation amongst my ladies; Almost every carer I have spoken to knows that I am wearing shorts. Some ladies have even shouted out to me whilst another carer is ringing me from their home.

'Is Ian coming this afternoon? I hope he's still wearing his shorts.' etc.

I have taken all this in good spirit, and take the view that if it brightens up their day it must be
a good thing.

Today I was walking along a corridor in a residential home and happened to pass three elderly ladies standing outside one of the apartments. I was just about to turn and walk up the stairs when I heard one of the ladies say 'Cor! he's got nice legs!' 
I instinctively looked back and saw three pairs of eyes staring at me. Not one to miss an opportunity I made a flamboyant little quick step on the spot, before smiling at them and disappearing up the stairs
I could still hear them cackling when I got to the top.
I think it made my day as much as it did theirs

 I was in  the same care home again four days later and the same three ladies were in the corridor again.
'Can I squeeze past ladies'
'Ooo! Here he is girls, that man showing off his legs again'. came the cheeky comment. 'you can squeeze past us any time you like luv. (raucous laughter) When are you coming back down?
'I'm sorry to disappoint ladies, but I am going to be at least fifteen minutes'
'That's alright me dear, we can wait!

and they did!

The new kettle

Jack has just had a new kitchen fitted, and his daughter has been spending his money on finishing touches. 
'It looks great' I enthused 'are you pleased with it?
'Yes but I am not so keen on my new kettle,'
'Oh! why is that, it looks alright to me?'
'Well, it may look alright but it makes my tea tastes funny'
'Maybe it's because it's new, perhaps you should boil it up a few times'

No more was said until five minutes later when I went to make a cup of tea. As the kettle boiled it bubbled up and overflowed despite being less than half full.
'That's strange' I thought.
Then as went to mop up the water, I caught a sweet smell of perfume; I tasted the water and was immediately hit with a soapy taste.
'Well we can't drink that, I'll throw it away and try the old kettle'
So I poured the water away and started to fill the kettle again and it was at this point I heard a faint hum; I looked down and noticed that a modern soap dispenser had been thoughtfully placed between the taps. The kind that automatically dispenses soap when a light sensor detects that your hands are underneath, so every time you put the kettle under the tap, a measure of liquid soap is dispensed into the water.