Tuppence a bag

Just recently I have been asked to start doing some activities on other units in our care home, so as making bird feeders proved to be successful in my unit, I thought I would try it elsewhere. This involved mixing seed and nuts with lard and putting them into a paper cup, before hanging them up outside the window. 

As is often the case, one lady did not want to make them but I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my neck as I moved round the lounge helping others to do so. I do not mind this, as it is obviously engaging the person and draws them into conversation; At least they are not just staring blankly at the television. Every now and again she would chip in with. 'Aren't they lovely' or 'they'll look great'

Fortunately in this unit there was already a feeding station outside the window but judging by the quality of the mouldy seed, it hadn't had any visitors for a while, so I cleaned the feeders, added some sunflower hearts and hung our collection of home made fat balls alongside.

As I came back to the unit to collect my seed etc. the lady concerned stopped me to complain that she couldn't see the feeders from where she sits, so I went back outside and moved it across; when I went back in another gentleman said that he now couldn't see it from his chair. By this time it had started raining and I'm standing outside, while each resident moves me backwards and forwards and side to side like an episode of 'The Golden Shot' with gestures to imply that  I should go left a bit, right a bit, back a bit, STOP! By the time they had finished I was drenched, but at least they all now had a view of their new point of interest.

I thought nothing more of the bird station until about a week later, when the lady, who had been watching me make the feeders, appeared in my unit to tell me how the birds had come.

'and all their little yellow bottoms are poking up in the air.' She delightedly told me.

'Oh! That's great' I said

'Yes and we even have a squirrel who hangs upside down too, trying to get at the seed'

From that day on, I always made a point to make sure the feeders were topped up with seed, which would often be greeted with a wave from the lady when I finished.

All was well until the lady concerned, grabbed me on my travels to ask why their bird feeder had been taken down?

'Really? I can't think why?' I said

'Well, I saw the man do it, and I was shouting at him to put it back but he wouldn't listen!' she angrily exclaimed 'The poor birds have nothing to eat'

A quick look out of the window and I realised it had been dismantled when the gardener had mowed the lawn and he had not put it back afterwards.

'It's alright I can see the problem, I'll go and put it back now' I told her

Thank you dear; have a biscuit'

'Thank you, I don't mind if I do, I'm rather partial to the custard creams.'
'Not for you. FOR THE BIRDS!'

mistaken identity

Just recently we have had quite a few new people to look after. Most of them I only see once in a blue moon because I have my own regular ladies and gents to look after.
Yesterday my senior care worker rang up to ask if I could take on a few extra calls as someone had gone off sick. As she rattled off the names I visualised my route until the last one which was a lady called Janine.
'Janine?' I asked as I couldn't place the name
'Yes, you know the lady; never normally wants much so we sit and chat for ten minutes'
'Oh yes I know her' I replied cursing under my breath, as the lady lives on the other side of town to the others.
Having finished the first two calls, I made the fifteen minute journey across town muttering under my breath that there must have been another carer who was nearer to do the visit.
I enter the house to find the lady in her kitchen
'Hello I haven't seen you for a while' she said
'Hello Janine, How are you today/' I replied,
'Not too bad, I am a bit cold though.'
'Is the heating on'
'Oh expect my husband forgot this morning as he was in a hurry'
'Oh okay, I'll put it on then shall I'  whilst moving across to the thermostat. 'Have you had breakfast'
'No, not yet'
I dutifully make her breakfast with warm milk and check she has taken her meds before looking for the record of care book. It was not in it's usual place. so I asked Janine where it was.
'I am not sure, it might be in the book case'
'Nope that's the people who do your housework'
'I don't know then
I spent about five minutes looking for the book and eventually gave up, deciding to leave a note for her husband on a scrap piece of paper. On the kitchen table was a note pad and as I picked it up I noticed someone had written 'Care cancelled from the 12th'
Today was the 17th.
'Your name is Janine isn't it'
'No Jean'
'Sorry, I am not supposed to be here'
'Oh well never mind dear, It was nice to see you'
A quick call to my senior and I established that Janine lived five minutes away from where I was about half an hour previously.

Not such a clever clogs

This week I was asked to take a lady out shadowing with me to learn the ropes. She was a lovely lady, really friendly and attentive to what was saying, by the end of the evening I was convinced she would make a great carer.
At our last call with Brenda, a severely deaf lady who has dementia, I was demonstrating how to put a certain type of pad on.


'First of all' I explained, 'this it is not the ideal kind to put on this particular service user, because it is really designed to be put on when someone is laying down in bed and we dress this lady standing up. Normally we would use the straight forward pull up kind, but because of this lady's incontinence problem these ones absorb better. So as you can see it is designed to be wrapped round the waist and then fed between her legs to be attached by Velcro at the front. As you can imagine this is a nightmare to do on your own, so I guess at the ladies waist and then make it up so it is like a straight forward pull up pair. I have been looking after this lady for a while now so I have a pretty good idea of her size' I add smugly


Brenda, our elderly lady concerned wears a Onesie (with a hood) to go to bed which is another problem altogether. I wheel her into the bedroom and help her undress. When it comes to her trousers I get her stand up using a rota stand and shout '123 UP' I then pull down her trousers and the wet pad. Brenda then sits down and I slip the new pad on up to her knees along with the trouser part of the Onsie. '123UP' and she stands again while I pull everything up and slip her arms into the top half.
'As you can see' I proudly say whilst pulling up the perfectly fitting pad  'I am quite good at guessing the size.
My pupil is suitably impressed
She sits down again and I do the buttons up on the Onesie.
'Now we can move Brenda near the bed and use the rota stand to get her from the chair into bed' I demonstrate 'Once we have got Brenda sitting on the side of the bed she can lean back and we can lift her legs up onto the bed.
As I bent down to do this I notice with horror an obstacle on the bed. It was the clean pad I had made up earlier which meant that in my smugness to show off I had put the soiled pad back on.
Now you try explaining to a deaf lady with dementia who is in the process of snuggling down, that she has got to get undressed again.


On the positive side; To save taking the Onsie completely off and as there was two of us, I did not take the pad off down past her ankles but demonstrated the conventional way to take that particular pad off and on. Extra training

So it's not all tea and cakes then

I had a gentleman who is hoping to became a care worker at our company join me today to see what the job involved


The Conversation started with.....

'Our first call is a lady who.....' 

'We visit ladies?'  came the stunned interruption

'Oh yes, we visit a wide range of people from the young to the old to special needs, all of which include Male and females

'I imagined that as I was a male I would only be visiting men'

Not a good start. Ok so we get over that barrier and we go in to another lady and he is so shocked by her condition that he can barely look at her and busies himself in the kitchen to keep out of the way

Later that day  I had to call an ambulance out to an elderly lady that has had a fall.  She was Ok but needed to go to hospital for a check up. Again he disappears into the kitchen to make a cup of tea but stays there until the ambulance arrives


He seemed very sheepish when I dropped him off.
Not quite the cup of tea and cakes scenario that he imagined I think.
Needless to say he never came back

The Chair Lift

Chair lifts are an important aid for many people to stay in their homes when their mobility slows them down. There are several kinds of chair lifts; from the straight up and down, to the ones that go round corners and then there's type that John has, that have a track that folds up when it is not in use because the chair lift comes down across the front door blocking the exit.


On this particular day I decided to get to John early because I had a few extra calls on my round that I had never been to before and was not sure what they would entail. John is a bit of an enigma, sometimes you go in and you are out in ten minutes and other days you can be in with him for an hour, which makes planning your day a bit tricky and was another reason for getting there early.
  As I walk in I see that John is up and about already, this is good news as it means I have not got ten minutes of coaxing him out of bed and then waiting for him find his balance before attempting to go upstairs for his wash.
'Morning John.' I enquire whilst prompting his medication. 'How are you today?'
'Not so mucking fusty' came the usual response.
'I'll just bring the chair lift down and then we can go upstairs for your wash'
'Ok Boss'
I lowered the track in front of the front door before walking upstairs to sit on the chair to bring it down. I know you can do all this from a remote downstairs but I quite enjoy the ride. At least I did until I got three feet from the end and the thing came to a dead halt with all the lights going off. After fiddling around with various switches I came to the conclusion that it was in need of professional help.
I  fetch a bowl to fill with hot water and wash John in the lounge before getting him dressed. As I was making a cup of tea to go with his breakfast I glanced at the clock 'Oh good, despite all this kerfuffle, it has still only taken half an hour.'
'Right John, I have sent a message to you daughter explaining about the chair. As I obviously can't use the front door, I will go out the back way, do you know where the key is?
'Should be in the door'
'It's not there'
'Oooh! I haven't seen it since I came out of hospital'!'
'Have you got any ideas?'
'Might be in my coat'
'Where's that'
'Ooooh I haven't seen it since I came out of hospital'
So off I go in search of the coat as the realisation that all the downstairs exits are patio doors hits me; I could be spending the morning trapped in the house waiting for a repair man. I eventually find a coat under a pile of clothes but no key!!!
'It's not there'
'Not that one the green one'
Off I go again aware that time is slipping away rapidly. I find the green coat in the bedroom, but still no key
'I tell you what, it might be in that drawer over there marked keys' says John as he picks up his breakfast bowl and slowly heads to the sink to wash up; seemingly totally oblivious to my increasing anguish
Great, I've found it, but in my haste to open the door, I pull the blind down blind on top of me.
'It does that now and again' says John
Frustration is building inside me now as I fumble, all fingers and thumbs, to put the blind back up and rush to the back gate which, you guessed it, won't open.
'The gate won't open John'
'Ah! You'll need a screw driver as I screw it shut against the post.'
'Ok, so where's your screw driver?'
'Ooooh I haven't seen that since I came out of hospital...........'


Three quarters of an hour later I made it to my next call

always right

Dealing with members of the public is not always the easiest of jobs, as many customer service desk representatives will no doubt vouch. I have a young lady that I help with housework and shopping. She will only ever see things from her side of the argument; will always look to catch the office out and then moan relentlessly to me about it afterwards. I spend the two hour call biting my tongue and nodding graciously as she tells me her latest fracas with somebody or other.


Today whilst shopping she walks away from the till and waves a receipt at me that was barely legible.


'Look at that' she says, 'I think they are running out of ink, how am I supposed to read that?'
'Does it matter? You only bought four things ' I replied, knowing full well that she tots up how much her shopping is as she goes round and would instantly know if it was wrong.
She is one of these ladies who spots when the price of pringles has gone up by two pence. In fact our shopping trip involves three supermarkets to find the best price of said items. Of course she doesn't consider the extra fuel that it costs me to go from store to store.


'That's not the point' she continued 'I'm going to tell a supervisor and ask for another receipt'
'Fair enough' I said 'I'll wait over here', pointing to a quiet place round the corner to disassociate myself from the impending embarrassment.
I peer round the corner and watch her walk across to the lady on customer service desk to begin her tirade. After a few seconds, I was astonished when she stopped mid flow and walked back rather sheepishly.
'Everything Ok' I enquired
'I only had the bloody thing upside down'   

A day in the life the ups, the downs

Having started at 7.30 a.m., I finished my morning calls slightly earlier than expected. so whilst examining my evening rota, I settled down with a cup of well earned tea .
'Good' I thought 'Not many calls tonight, so it should be a nice steady evening. Time to reward myself with a long soak in the bath along with a good book before going out again'
Ten minutes into my wallow, I can hear my phone ringing. I drag myself downstairs dripping wet to find a voice mail asking if I could take on some more calls tonight. Bang goes my bath, as I now need to get dressed and set off an hour earlier than expected. Like NOW!
Strangely enough  though, things were going really smoothly, I even had time to stop off at home half way round for a cup of tea .
I'm in a really mellow mood as I go from house to house, still gaining time as I go. I decide to spend a bit more time with a couple of my ladies; one asking me to sing to her and another sitting on the side of her bed showing me old photos and letters from her family. There was one letter from her father to her mother describing, in true Enid Blyton style, the joy of looking after his new born child. The child being the 90 year old lady sitting beside me on the bed. I leave the second lady content that I have had a worthwhile day and what is more, I am still on track to finish at 9.30pm


I have two calls to go when I enter Phyllis' house to find her in bed. She has dementia and like most dementia patients has good and bad days. She is also profoundly deaf which can also make life very difficult at times.


The fact she has made her own way to bed means it is a good day, or is it? , She has managed to use the commode, this means that her pad is no longer on when she has gone to bed, so the bed is wet. She is still wearing her clothes so they are also wet.
This was going to take longer than the half an hour I had planned. I sighed inwardly as I set about my task and whilst emptying the commode I catch sight of a pile of faeces on the bedside cabinet that she has removed from her pad. I quickly put them in the commode before cleaning it out, rolled her back and forth to change the bed sheets, cleaned her bottom up; washed her hands; put a clean pad on along with fresh pyjamas; all done with the aid of sign language. I finally tidied up the lounge, put her soiled clothes in the wash before going back into the bedroom to say goodnight. As I lent forward to kiss her forehead she jumped because she had not seen or heard me return. We both laughed before she tenderly grabbed my face with both hands, lent forward and kissed me gently on the lips. She has never done this before. Perhaps it was an apology for the mess, but it felt more than that. It was a beautiful moment I would cherish for a long time and made my day. Bless you Phyllis
I have to admit though, I did have one overwhelming thought at the time she was holding my face. 'Thank God I'd washed her hands!'