what a commode-shun

Every day for the past few months Rene had two topics of interest which I have sympathetically listened to: -
The first: - Because she had had a fall, a commode  had been delivered, so that she did not have so far to travel to go to the toilet during the night

'Do you know Andrew?' (yes, it's the lady that gets my name wrong), 'They've given me that commode and I don't want it. If they think I am going in there they've another thing coming, It'll stink my bedroom out. I have asked them to take it back, that was three weeks ago now and they still haven't picked it up, . Ridiculous isn't it. I have to shuffle round it when I am cleaning, I'm more likely to have another fall because it's in the way.



Knowing Rene as I do, a thought struck me that The council had probably tried to contact her by phone and not got through. The reason for this is because she waits to hear who is calling on the answer phone and then can't get up quick enough to answer it.
'Shall I give them a call'  I said.
'Oh! You are a dear. Yes please.'
So after about ten minutes on the phone I arrange for the commode to be picked up the next day at 4pm.

The second topic of interest is her bathroom.
'Do you know Andrew? The council have promised me a new wet room because I can't get my legs over the bath to have a shower. Come and have a look I'll show you what I mean'

At this point my heart is in my mouth because despite my protestations she will go into the bathroom to demonstrate how awkward it is, whilst teetering on the edge of the bath. I often have visions of filling in an accident form, with the first question being;- How did the accident happen?

'See!' she explains. ' I can get on the side like so and this is far as I can raise my leg. I could have an accident, and I have been waiting over a year now. 'It's not good enough is it?'

So again I rang The council to see what was happening. It materialised that because she owned her own house she needed to get quotes for the job and the council will pay for the cheapest quote. I suggested that she spoke to her son. Which she did and the wheels were in motion.

Moving on about another four weeks, Rene excitedly greets me at the door.

'Guess what, Andy? They are fitting my new shower next week'

'Oh that's fantastic news, I bet you're pleased'

'Well I would be if I could get them to deliver the commode they promised two weeks ago. I mean, what am I going to do about going to the toilet whilst they are working in there?